It’s been awhile, hasn’t it? I didn’t mean to announce that I would no longer be posting my kindnesses for the 365 Days of Kindness project and then disappear, but that’s exactly what happened. The past month has been a hectic one for us, and this blog took a back seat as J and I worked our way through some pretty big life changes.
We moved at the end of September.
It’s such a simple thing to say. We moved. But in practice it was so much more.
We moved. Relocated. Uprooted.
Leaving our little apartment behind was a decision we - I - struggled with a great deal. I was 24 when I moved into the little building off Corydon. It was the first time (and quite possibly the last) that I would ever live completely on my own, sans roommates or romantic partners. When I moved in I was deeply depressed, reeling from the end of an engagement, struggling with a severe drinking problem, and feeling very much alone.
My life was a complete mess, and so was I. But that empty apartment felt a little bit like hope.
I spent four years living in that space; two of them with J. It’s where I decided to leave the alcohol industry and quit drinking; where I gave up cigarettes for good; where I decided to finish my degree. It’s where I chose to leave small business office administration behind and pursue a career in nonprofit, and where I learned how to take proper care of myself.
It’s where I gave myself a chance, took a life that was in shambles, and turned it into something beautiful.
I love our new home. I love living downtown. I love having a beautiful, functional kitchen. And, just as much, I love the little off-Corydon apartment that allowed me the space I needed to grow as a person and craft this life that I am so totally and completely enamored with.
I mentioned last month that I have taken on a new position at work, but I didn’t dive too deeply on what that has entailed. I transitioned out of a coordinator role and into an executive directorship at the nonprofit I work with, and the change has taken some getting used to. I am learning a lot about what it means to be responsible for running an organization (albeit a smallish one), how to create work/life balance in a challenging position, and how to prioritize when all of the tasks on my to-do list are immensely important and should have been done, like, yesterday.
I’m also learning to quell the feelings of overwhelm and anxiety that threaten to take me over and instead focus on taking my days one task at a time. It has been challenging, rewarding, and a true test of my commitment to carving out a space for myself in the world of nonprofit work. I wouldn’t have it any other way.
On 365 Days of Kindness
You guys, of all the decisions I have ever made, deciding to stop posting my kindnesses each week is up there with the best of them. I am still performing and recording kindnesses every day, but I now feel as though I continue to work towards completing this project not for the sake of proving myself to others or making sure I have blog content, but because it has added something very meaningful to my life. My focus is where it should be - on kindness for the sake of kindness.
On What’s Next
I’d like to say that I have a clear idea of where I want to take this website, or my online life in general. The truth is, I am still working on figuring out the role that I want spaces like Twitter, Facebook, or this blog to have in my life. I’ll get there eventually, but for now let’s just say that sporadic, whatever-I-feel-like-typing posts are probably going to be the norm around here for a while. I feel pretty good about letting this be whatever it will be and am looking forward to getting back to enjoying blogging as a hobby without feeling like it is an obligation.
That’s where things are at. My life these days is very full, very rich, and I am loving every minute of it.
So what’s new with you?