I’ve been thinking about blogging a ton lately, and about how I would love to do it more frequently and maybe even with some kind of consistency (but, like, don’t hold your breath). The mental barriers I come up against time and time again when I start to think about making a regular hobby of this space are always the same:
- I don’t think I’m expert enough at anything that would be worth writing about (except maybe not drinking, but honestly I feel like I’ve blogged that to absolute death). I get stuck on the idea that I need to be THE MOST INFORMED AND ACCOMPLISHED PERSON EVER to write about a topic, which I recognize is just the kind of bullshit perfectionist thinking that can keep a person locked inside of themselves for life if they let it. But what if I get it wrong, you know? Failure is scary.
- I’m afraid of writing poorly. There, I said it. What if I don’t do words good and someone points it out or tells me I suck? That would be the worst.
- I’m still learning to be confident in my ability to show up in my life, commit, and get shit done. It's been over three years since I quit drinking and basically got my life together, but it's taking my brain a while to catch onto the fact that my ability to follow through on things is no longer near nonexistent. What if I decide to make this a regular thing and then just...don’t? That would also be the worst.
So basically I am a bundle of insecurities when it comes to writing publicly these days, but I’m pretty sure the only way to get over that is to just do it. So here I am, doing the thing...and pretty happy about it, honestly.
Please enjoy this picture of my cat, Floyd, while I go decide just how to proceed from here: